the secret will lie within me forever

so here i am, back to, well, you could say posting and updating my blog while listening to my hamster singing payphone... everything here seems so orange and i love it to the max!

SPM is in a week or so and im here procrastinating.. gahhhh i should be studying sejarah right now!! oh well...
during weeks of study + procrastinating + dreaming to go back training, i've done something that i shouldnt tell anyone but it's just so embarassing and yet fun! :D i guess you see, when you fall in love with someone older, you will find them WOW. he's just so sexy here and there. then you do something so that you shouldnt do and later feel all regret and stupid.. i believe it's totally about hormonal imbalance. curiosity kills the cat.

i wonder why everybody's studying and yet im on the computer at this moment, typing all these..

okay so, here's a funny converstation with me and jane yesterday night. it was random.

me : baby baby baby ohhhh..~
jane : i want a dog.
me:i want a jane.
j : i want straight As. i want i want.
me: i want a female dog name mei jane. haha.
j : bitch.
me: haha! anyway, finally you are awake.
j : awake? you just message wrong times.
me : haha.. i thought you are nocturnal.
j : cz today got tuition ma :P
me : oh..seems legit?
j : it is legit. why going to tuition not legitimate?
me : err.... well you see, a stock gave birth to you.
j : :( you my mummy?
me : nope. im your dad AND mummy.
j : ......dadmy? mumdad?
me :it's called dadum.
j : ok.dadummmmmmmm.
me : dont forget the 'my' at the back too, to make it more sexy. dadummy.
j : you know im gonna start calling you that from now on right?
me : no, stock, you must put 'am' at the back. dadummyam.
j : ... make up your mind woman.
me: hey im not a woman. im your dadummyamyam..
j : dadummyamamdad
me : took you so long to call me your dadum.


so yeah.. that was it..

May : showers

this month, lot of memories, sadness all compiled together. i've never felt so happy and yet so sad.. 

this month, i cried thrice. thanks, friends. it actually feels good to have a good cry. and with a valid reason,either for good or for bad. besides, it's a type of message you convey - through feelings. eventually, you find yourself a stronger person. 

these days, when im growing older, it makes me harder to cry. i would never cry in front of my parents or friends now. only me, myself know what this cry is for. i sometimes wonder.. what will happen to us in our future. will it be good or bad? nevermind, i will just let God determine the path of our life.